Well, thank goodness. It’s about time!
As I sit here typing, sipping a celebratory glass of champagne, I’m thinking I may now have to change the name of my blog. “Sublime SUB life” may no longer be appropriate in describing my current situation.
No longer will I be waking up extremely early for work, only to sit around and wait for a call. Now, when I wake up early, I awake with purpose! No more subbing for this teacher. I’ve been offered (and have accepted) a full-time teaching position!
I thought I was ecstatic when I accepted the maternity leave positions a few weeks ago. I was wrong. I may have been super-duper happy, but not ecstatic. Ecstatic would have to be the adjective to describe the way I felt driving home on Thursday after accepting a regular teaching position. I was in a joy-induced haze and don’t really remember driving home. I don’t recommend or condone this practice, as it is highly dangerous. Honestly, though, it was out of my control. I just couldn’t believe my dreams were finally coming true. Corny? Maybe, but it has been awhile since I felt that my future was not a dreary, foggy, unclear mess.
This past week I was spending time observing, learning procedures and systems, and meeting students in order to prepare for the upcoming maternity leave I was assigned. Wednesday night I created a few lessons to teach in my classes Thursday as a “trial run” for teaching and preparing for a block schedule (108 minutes, instead of a normal 50 or so). I was expecting Thursday to be a successful day, but was not prepared for the real surprise the day had in store for me. After my lessons provided fantastic results with my students, I couldn’t have imagined the day getting any better. During a free period, I went down to the main office to resolve a simple payroll issue. While in the office, the assistant principal asked to have a word with me. Within the next minute I was shaking hands with administrators and accepting a full-time position!
Still, I almost don’t believe it. This doesn’t feel like reality. I cannot even count how many times I have logged on to the teacher portal this weekend in order to see if my profile title has really changed from “Day-to-Day Substitute” to “English Teacher.” I am going to be earning a living doing something I am completely passionate about! I’m not sure I possess the accurate words to describe my true feelings. I have waited so long for someone to give me the chance to prove myself, and now I finally have it!
I know this opportunity is going to be a challenge. I will be teaching at-risk students in an urban, inner-city setting. Many of my students won’t know where they will sleep at night or when they will be getting their next meal. For most, English class is low on their list of priorities, to say the least. I won’t just be teaching lessons on grammar and comprehension. I will be helping students realize their potential to change their futures. I know there will be some days when they’ll make me want to rip my hair out, but I also know there will be times when all the difficult moments will be worth it. I hope my students are ready to learn, because I am. My students have much to teach me!
I think, for now, the blog title will stay. My life is not exactly where it needs to be. My new job is a giant step in the right direction, but there are many elements still in need of repair. Hopefully securing this new position will allow me to ditch this sub-life and really start living!