Operation Make Baby Sonne, Part Two, Round One—Letrozole, trigger, and IUI:

Some of this may sound redundant, especially to those of you who read my Facebook posts. However, when a girl has to vent, a girl has to vent.

This past month has been a roller-coaster of emotions— one of victories and defeats, of extremely high highs and depressingly low lows. Let’s hear the good news first, eh? As some of you may know, I have been teaching English I to freshman at my good old alma mater for almost a month now. It has been amazing. It’s cheesy to say, but it really is my dream job. I love it so much (even when it is super challenging and when the kiddos are being stinkers). Many times in the past year I thought about finding work outside the realm of education. It wasn’t necessarily panning out for me, but I couldn’t just throw in the towel. It didn’t make sense that I worked so hard for so long to just give up. Hopefully, now, this is the start of something wonderful for me and my teaching career. We will see…. Now let’s get back to these ovaries of mine. Finally! The medicine Letrozole finally got my left ovary to produce a follicle (just one little bugger) and it was glorious. This was my second HUGE victory of the month. I couldn’t believe my luck! I finally get a teaching job and a 21mm follicle all in the same month?! Is this real life? Was my luck finally starting to turn around? For about two weeks, I really did think I was transported to some magical fantasy world and all of my dreamiest dreams would come true.

The same day I found out about my cute little 21mm follicle I had to give myself a trigger shot of the hormone HCG to kick-start ovulation. After the shot, ovulation was to occur 12-36 hours later. The very next morning I went in for my first intrauterine insemination procedure. They “washed” Jacob’s swimmers by separating the little guys from the fluid so they were highly concentrated. Only the strongest and fastest ones made it into the catheter. Then the little guys were placed right into the uterus to hopefully meet up with the egg that burst out of my follicle. That’s the idea, anyway. I had to lay there for about 15 minutes afterward, just wondering if they made it through the long and difficult journey. The very next day we repeated the whole procedure. The idea behind doing two IUIs instead of one was to catch ovulation on either side of that 12-36 hour window. It made sense to us, the procedure went well, and everything was looking up.

Next up was the dreaded two-week wait. The symptom spotting, the wondering, the stress—it’s absolutely no fun. I thought I did a really good job of remaining hopeful and tried to stay busy to keep my mind from wandering too much. The new teaching gig helped me immensely in getting through that rough patch. I had a ton of planning and grading to help me keep any negative thoughts at bay. During this time, I slowly but surely convinced myself the procedure was a success. I felt different. I just knew I had a little tiny human growing inside of me.

The two-week wait is NOT the worst part of fertility treatments, however. The worst part of treatments is finding out they didn’t work. Negative. Not pregnant. My little magical world where only good things happen exploded into non-existence. That little tiny human I imagined growing inside of me was taken away in an instant. I was brought back to reality– the reality where everything doesn’t magically fall into place.

That was yesterday; today is a new day. And tomorrow will be a little easier, too.


About Nicole

I have my BA in English Education and am a lover of the arts. I’m part of a small, but fiercely devoted (and annoyingly close) family– and wouldn’t change that for the world. I'm lucky in love with the love of my life and am a step-mom to his two beautiful girls. I’m also a Paleolithic eater, a lover of all things organic, whole, and natural.

2 responses »

  1. Kathy says:

    Focus on the positive. Big hugs to you!!

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